Wierd gift ideas from Dave Barry!

http://seasonshot.com/

DAVE BARRY'S HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2007

Each year, syndicated columnist Dave Barry unveils his gift guide, a collection of offbeat gifts you can actually buy.

HAND SOAP -- These decorative hand soaps are actually shaped like hands, reaching up at you in a truly creepy decorative way. No guest would dream of actually using these soaps.

TATTOO SLEEVES -- These are sleeves that make you look as though you have tattoos all over your arms.

SEASONED SHOT -- Ask yourself how many times you have made the following statement after killing a bird with a shotgun: ''Gosh darn it, now I have to painstakingly remove the pellets from this bird, and THEN, in a completely separate step, I have to season the bird so I can eat it! There must be an easier way!'' If that sounds like you or somebody on your holiday gift list, then you need Season Shot. It's a brilliant concept: shotgun pellets that are actually made from seasoning, so that you season the bird when you kill it.

FLYING ALARM CLOCK -- The ultimate gift for anybody who has trouble getting out of bed in the morning. This is an alarm clock with a propeller on top. When the alarm sounds, the propeller takes off and flies around the room. The only way to make the alarm go off is to get out of bed, find the propeller, and put it back into the clock.

FAKE BREATHING PUPPY -- ''Almost a Real Pup'' is a semi-realistic puppy that just lies there and -- thanks to the miracle of ''D'' cell batteries -- appears to breathe.

BRA BAG -- Without question one of the biggest problems facing humanity today is how to carry spare brassieres. Finally, somebody has come up with a solution: The Bra Bag. According to the product website, the Bra Bag will hold up to six ''C'' cup brassieres. The site also says that the Bra Bag is ''so chic, you're sure to turn a few heads when carrying it!''

TAILGATER -- This is a hammock-style chair that is suspended from the trailer hitch of a vehicle. So when you're tailgating at a sporting event, instead of having to sit on a regular boring chair placed on the ground, you can dangle from the back of your vehicle.

PSYCHO SHOWER CURTAIN -- This is the perfect companion to the scary grasping hand soap: a shower curtain with a shadow of the crazy Psycho stabbing lady.

BUNNY CAR KIT -- As the manufacturer says, ''Why drive around town in a boring car when you can dress it up as a rabbit?'' Included are a couple of large ears,which attach to your driver and passenger windows, and a large, fluffy ball -- a nose -- to attach to the hood.

WATERMELON-FLAVORED FREUD-HEAD LOLLIPOPS -- This product, as the headline strongly suggests, is a watermelon-flavored lollipop shaped like the head of Sigmund Freud.

TEN PLAGUES BOWLING SET -- This is a bowling set with wooden pins representing the 10 plagues of Egypt.

PILLOW PAL -- The Pillow Pal is a ''handy holster holder'' that hangs next to your bed. The manufacturer says that it ''might be used to hold your handgun, your stun gun, or a can of aerosol chemical agent. Or maybe you'd hang a flashlight on a belt-loop flashlight holder. Cordless/cellphones. TV or stereo remotes. Baby monitors. There are myriad possibilities with Pillow Pal.''