1:00 am - Alarm clock rings
2:00 am - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed
2:30 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up
3:00 am - Leave for the deep woods
3:15 am – Drvie back home to pick up gun
3:30 am – Drive like crazy to get to woods before daylight
4:00 am – Set up camp-forgot the darn tent.
4:30 am – Head into the woods.
6:05 am – See 8 deer.
6:07 am - Take aim and squeeze the trigger
6:08 am - CLICK
6:09 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill
8:00 am - Head back to camp
9:00 am Still looking for camp
10:00 am Realize you don’t know where camp is
12:00 NOON - Fire gun for help--eat wild berries
12:15 pm - Run out of bullets--eight deer come back
12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries
12:45 pm - Rescued
12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00 pm - Arrive back at camp
3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer
4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets
4:01 pm - Load gun--Leave camp again
5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you
6:00 pm - Arrive at camp--see deer grazing in camp
6:01 pm - Load gun
6:02 pm - Fire gun
6:03 pm - One dead pick-up
6:05 pm - Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer
6:06 pm - Repress desire to shoot hunting partner
6:07 pm - Fall into fire
6:10 pm - Change clothes--throw burned ones onto fire
6:15 pm - Take pick-up, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp
6:25 pm - Pick-up boils over--hole shot in block
6:26 pm - Start walking
6:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud
6:35 pm - Meet bear
6:36 pm - Take aim
6:37 pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel--plugged with mud
6:38 pm - Mess pants
6:39 pm - Climb tree
9:00 pm - Bear leaves. Wrap *$%!@#$% gun around tree
Midnight - Home at last
Sunday-Watch the Bengals on TV, slowing tearing hunting license into little pieces, place in envelope, and mail to hunting partner with very precise instructions as to what he can do with it.
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1 comment:
Very cute! But not an accurate picture of deer hunting, at least in southern Arkansas, where I hail from.
My brothers, brothers-in-law, nephews, nieces, sisters-in-law, cousins, and their friends all have a great time meeting and deciding on what stand each will hunt from. They hunt on a 160 acre parcel of land that used to belong to my grandfather. It was sold some time ago, but the "kelley hunting club" leases it back to continue the time-honored tradition of deer hunting.
I have lived in Cincinnati for 13 1/2 years and really miss that venison they always brought home. The only dead deer in my Cinci family has been one that ran into my car on I-275 4 or 5 years ago. And some dudes behind me stopped and stole "my" deer and took off with it. So I didn't even get to keep any of it.
I posted your Deer Hunt story on my family's web site, giving you credit, of course. My cousin asked for a copy to send to her son.
You guys are doing a great job! Keep up the good (and hilarious) work!
Lil McKissick
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